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Out of Darkness: A Film by ∆+

FINALPROMOPOSTER

Out of Darkness will be online this Christmas! (December 25)
Watch on Vimeo On Demand (https://vimeo.com/ondemand/outofdarknessfilm) or on Gumroad (https://gumroad.com/l/outofdarkness).

Promo Code: 4OSCARGRANT (Free Rental for 1st 1000 viewers)
Promo Code: 4SANDRABLAND (25% off Extended Version HD Download https://vimeo.com/ondemand/outofdarknessextended)


Out of Darkness: A Film by ∆+ (Official Trailer#2)


Prof. Kaba Kamene – Malcolm X: 50 Years Later

Kicking off the official public announcement of Out of Darkness (A Film by Amadeuz Christ), Building Seven presents Malcolm X: 50 Years Later. Prof. Kaba Kamene narrates this special expose on El Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, also known as Malcolm X. In Malcolm X: 50 Years Later we examine the life of Malcolm X, from his early years as Detroit Red to his transformation into the legendary and iconic figure we know today as Malcolm X.

Directed and edited by Amadeuz Christ

Filmed at Marcus Book Store in Oakland, CA

“Out of Darkness” film coming soon…

outofdarknessfilm.com


Dr. Umar Johnson – War on Black Boys

The Movement brings Dr. Umar Johnson to Reno, Nevada for a special presentation on the “Psycho-Academic War on Black Boys” which details the war waged by the public education system against young children of African ancestry in the United States. In the presentation Dr. Umar Johnson explains the IQ Test, Learning Disabilities, ADHD, and how Black children are often misdiagnosed into Special Education.

Filmed by Amadeuz Christ

“Out of Darkness” film coming soon…

outofdarknessfilm.com


Angel the Barber Queen: Believe

Believe: The third installment in a motivational video series by Angel the Barber Queen.

Co starring: Taj Withers and Adrian “AD” Alfonso
Produced by Hippie Sabotage


#Lifestyle: Young Flauge

#Lifestyle: Takes you into a late night studio session with Oakland, CA emcee Young Flauge as he crafts a beats and lays some vocals for a new track.

Dir. Amadeuz Christ

Young Flauge “A-Flauge-Alypse Now” available here: goo.gl/VpXgkS


Locksmith – Imperfect

 

 


[Sample Script] Ab-Soul – God’s Reign

ss2Just for fun.

Gods Reign-Δ+


Nicki Minaj and Black American Schizophrenia

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There are often times many topics, occurrences, and instances in the media that I might feel compelled to write about and never do. Every so often however, I will come across something so atrocious, so deplorable, so disgusting…that I have to pen my thoughts on it for sake of not exploding into a rage of anger. Be it a form of therapy if it will. I have stated before that as a Radio Television & Film major I was taught (although I have always done this) to pay very close attention to media, more specifically the themes, ideas, suggestions, and messages put forth by it, in order to understand the media’s role in “culture creation” and the social engineering of the populations of the world. If anyone does a serious critique on American media specifically, they would ultimately come to the same conclusion that I have…that the Television was the most sophisticated, most cunning, and most brilliant instrument of mind control ever to be created on planet Earth.

This brings us to our latest debacle….

Last night, and I have no idea why, I just so happened to (accidentally) hit the play button on the new Nicki Minaj video/single “Lookin Ass Nigga”…the latest single from the Young Money Camp (the last video I wrote about was Lil Wayne’s “Love Me” video). As a music video director (who has probably already been blackballed from the industry!), I often peruse video sites and watch music videos, although I rarely ever watch them all the way through, simply as an effort to study the “competition.” I am neither blind nor a stranger to the blatant masonic themes and energies injected into these videos, although their shock value has ceased to be existent to me at this point. I have since abandoned my studies of the so-called Illuminati in efforts to learn my African history and have since discovered that these people are simply imitators and thieves of our original ancient Mystery School Systems and ancient knowledge. That’s another discussion.

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Lets get back to Nicki….

I must say that there is not much to expect from a Black woman with blonde hair, a European mind (and accent to boot), who seems to want to epitomize the very definition of the “black woman lost” parading herself to the world as some kind of modern day whore of Babylon (think Maria from the movie Metropolis). She has an interesting voice I will give her that. So it goes without saying that after watching the video where she puts into hyper-drive her attack, insulting, and destruction of the Black male image by constantly invoking her slave masters and enslavers in her constant repetition of the derogatory word “nigga” I was not at all surprised. Nicki has made a career out of this. What did appall me was when today I saw the cover art for the single (God bless her heart) depicting the infamous photo of the great Malcolm X, looking out of the window with an AK-47, as a “looking as nigga.” And this is where we are at in 2014 black people….

We still hate ourselves.

Now, I cannot attack Nicki anymore than I can blame the slave for his slave mentality. I am smart enough to know that this was not her “inception” and that there are some very powerful people behind her with an agenda to keep Blacks in America asleep and in a state of perpetual negativity (see BET). I will also assume that she is using her sexuality and objectifying herself for sales, in an attempt to compensate for her lack of intellectual capacity. I don’t blame her. The thing that concerns me as a Black man is seeing the droves of Black women who come rushing to her defense, validating and sanctioning her outright and blatant disrespect of Malcolm X, one of our greatest leaders and a man who paid for Black liberation with his very life. I think that if Nick knew one iota of Black history, she would have never dreamed of carrying this out….let alone during Black History month. Again, Nicki is merely a puppet of a very sinister agenda. There is something deeper we need to examine here….and the closest word I can use to describe it is schizophrenia. American schizophrenia…..

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Schizophrenia is defined as a mental disorder which renders the person unable to tell real from unreal, have normal emotional responses, and unable to act normally in social situations.  

Lets put this into perspective:

People who classify themselves as “white” (Europeans) make up about 10% of the total world population, which means that the remaining 90% of the world is made up of people of “color.” However, it is painstakingly clear that Europe controls over 80% of the world’s total resources, and in effect controls the majority 90% population people of color. One may ask how 1/10 of the people can control 9/10 of the people? Dr. Frances Cress Welsing explains it brilliantly by saying that “once you teach a people to hate themselves, they will engage in their own destruction.” Dr. Welsing also describes with process of the genocide of the Black male throughout the world, especially here in America, due to the fact that the Black man poses the greatest threat to global white supremacy, more specifically, he poses the ultimate threat of white genetic annihilation. She further explains how this threat of genetic annihilation was the reason behind the attacks on the Black male penis, through castration, during slavery as the realization of this fear. There has been no historical evidence of attacks on the white male penis by the Black man.

“Once you teach a people to hate themselves, they will engage in their own destruction.”

Dr. Frances Cress Welsing

For all intents and purposes, Nicki Minaj has proven herself to be a European woman “trapped” in (light) Black skin. This latest episode reminds me of the Russell Simmons/Harriet Tubman fiasco where he produced a skit depicting Harriet Tubman having sex with her white slave master, and this relationship being the impetus of the underground railroad. I know Russell in his heart saw nothing wrong with that, although he did issue an official apology. My question is when did it become so cool to disrespect our ancestors? At what point did Blacks become so Europeanized that we take on the attitudes and ideologies of our oppressors, and began to hate ourselves. I do not see this in the Civil Rights movement. I saw Black pride, Black power (although there was a significant lack thereof), and a strong Black consciousness in the Civil Rights movement. How and when did we lose this and why does no one seem to care?

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“Something has happened to us that we pay little attention to, and we are forever knocking at the door of other people, borrowing cultures, borrowing ways of life inferior to the ones we lost.”

Dr. John Henrik Clarke

Dr. John Henrik Clarke tells us that before the foreigners entered into Africa, there was no word for jail because nobody had ever gone to one. No world for orphanage because no one had abandoned their child. No divorce, no rape, no teenage pregnancy in Africa before the foreigner. What has happened to us? Dr. Clarke describes the process of how the African was removed from his natural cultural incubator in Africa, and placed into a second cultural incubator, in America, taking on traits alien to us, and losing the values of the original incubator. He explains that “Something has happened to us that we pay little attention to….and we are forever knocking at the door of other people, borrowing cultures, borrowing ways of life inferior to the ones we lost.” I will maintain that little energy should be dissipated on Nicki Minaj, for she is only a symptom of a deep rooted psychological condition of Black America, inherited directly from our so-called “American” enslavers themselves. Willie Lynch described his method of reversing the roles of Black men and women, by turning the light-skinned against the dark-skinned, turning the old against the young, as lasting for at least 100 years. That was in 1712.

In 2014 Black people need to do more than just “get it together”…..we need a major, major reform. We need to be able to look in the mirror and love ourselves and we need to stop following other people who have no idea where they are going. We need to stop engaging in this self-hatred and know that civilization started with us, that humanity started with us, that we have civilized the world three times over and that the world owes a great debt to the African. We need to stop condoning the blatant disrespect of our ancestors and celebrating those who with every opportunity take part in the destruction of African people. We need to actually take the time out to learn our history beyond Jackie Robinson and slavery, because our story goes back millions of years, back to Africa the “birthplace of humanity.” We need to stop letting people define who we are and realize who he have been, and still are. We need to end this Black American schizophrenia and get back to the basics of nation building. We need to give the world its humanity once again.

Thank you Nicki.

XOXO


The Gatlin – What They Used To Be


Sahtyre – Suicide

Su1

It doesn’t seem like its been so long since the 1st draft of the script for Sahtyre’s “Suicide” was sent out. My personal favorite song from Sahtyre’s LSD (The Prelude) mixtape, since first hearing the song and being offered to direct the video I’ve been super anxious to bring this song to life. We had done a good job with the Miss Communication video and the B.A.R.S. series back in early 2012 that I have been anxious to work with Sahtyre again, especially if we were able to to secure a decent budget for the next one. After initially throwing ideas back and forth, the original concept being the creation of Sahtyre himself, we were confident enough in the script to wait for the right time to shoot it. Before shooting Suicide, Sahtyre shot and released three other videos from the mixtape (LSD-The Anthem, Bad Habit, & Broccoli) with assistance from another videographer/director, Adam Stanzak, all three being really incredible, although the LSD video stood out to me as some next level stuff. I was after about 7-8 months later starting to have my doubts about the Suicide video actually becoming a reality….until about late September when I got the call from Sahtyre to finally do it. Steez.

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Enter: Suicide….the story of a young girl who gets caught up in the allure of “fame” and “super-stardom” and who subsequently ends up paying the ultimate price for it all in the end. The video follows the young girl (Kiara Black) through her slow transition from dancer to model (Brianna King), and her fall from grace leading to her…suicide. Shot on location in Hollywood, CA, the video for Suicide has a very polished, clean but dark and ominous look and feel to it, which was exactly what we envisioned.. More short film than music video, and with no performance shots or even a small cameo from Sahtyre, the video depended solely on the dark aesthetic and the gripping story to pull the viewer into the world in which we created. Working with Sahtyre, Adam Stanzak, and Michael Paredes made directing a breeze. Our pre-production work definitely made all of the difference in the world, and the fact that all of the actors were all on point made filming this video the smoothest process it’s ever been for me. Shot in just two days, the music video for Suicide is arguably my best work yet as a director and has only got me anxious for the next one. In the meantime…watch and enjoy.

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Note: There are many different themes being presented in this video…lets see if you can pick up on them.


C Plus – 25

kids

“25” is the both the third music video from C Plus’ “L.O.C.A.L.” sophomore album, and the third video we’ve shot for him. They say the third time’s a charm and I feel like we really nailed it with this one. Minus any performance shots, the video depicts a day in the life of Sacramento artist C Plus in a venture throughout northern California, with stops in Sacramento, San Francisco, and Oakland. The song provides for the perfect sound bed for the imagery in this video, as we wanted to capture not only the lifestyle of C Plus, but of California as a whole. Filmed in Fillmore District of SF, East and West Oakland, and C Plus’ hometown in Northern Sacramento, the images themselves tell the visual story of what the song embodies. Please enjoy.


Big K.R.I.T. “Fresh to Death” (On “K.R.I.T.”, Praying Man/Spike Lee, 9th Wonder)

While on his King Remembered In Time tour, Big K.R.I.T. sat down with StrongArm (90.5FM KSJS) for an exclusive interview after his performance at DNA Lounge in San Francisco. Among topics discussed were the new project, K.R.I.T. (King Remembered In Time) and tour, linking with Spike Lee for a short film for the “Praying Man” track which features B.B. King off his debut studio album, Live From The Underground. He also spoke on the track “Banana Clip Theory” about gun violence, and on working with 9th Wonder & BJ The Chicago Kid on the track “Life is a Gamble”, both tracks are on his new mixtape.

Check out Big K.R.I.T.’s King Remembered In Time (K.R.I.T.) project here: http://www.livemixtapes.com/mixtapes/21536/big-krit-king-remembered-in-time.html

Purchase Big K.R.I.T.’s studio album, Live From The Underground: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/live-from-the-underground/id530070425 .

A Special thank you to Johnny Shipes, Dutch and everyone else at Cinematic Music Group.

Footage taken at Tastemaker Live/Sean Healy Presents. Show at DNA Lounge in San Francisco on 5.28.13.

Shot/Edited by Amadeuz Christ (@AmadeuzChrist)
Interview by Arman “StrongArm” Mahmoudi (@StrongArm408)
An Open University Production

http://www.thisisopenuniversity.com
http://www.ksjs.org


The Canon 5D Mark III, Final Cut Pro X, and Transcoding Hell

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When Final Cut Pro X was announced by Apple back in June of 2012 I was ecstatic. As an avid (no pun intended) Final Cut Pro Studio user who had grown a complicated love/hate relationship with the render bar, coupled with the fact that Final Cut Pro 7 only utilized 4GB RAM max. With FCPX I was very much wooed by the thought of not having to render along with the idea of my projects being edited that much faster. The new design, the organization of shots/footage, and the ability to utilize more than 4GB Ram had me to the point where I was unable to sleep for months thinking about this new Final Cut Pro X (ok a little exaggerated). I felt my life was soon about to change.

Then Final Cut Pro X was released. I remember that day logging onto the Apple App store for the first time ever, ready and willing to cough up $300 of my hard-earned cash for this new software and not thinking twice about it. I just happened to start reading the reviews on it before hitting the purchase button…I was crushed.

No backwards compatibility. No XML support. A “magnetic timeline” that feels like it was made for dummies and beginning editors. But worse of all……NO APPLE COLOR COMPATIBILITY!!!!!!! WHAT????

Needless to say, apart from taking the time to re-learn a new editing software in the midst of trying to finish a gazillion video projects, the new Final Cut Pro X suddenly did not interest me at all as I just didn’t see the benefit of making the change to the new software anytime soon…mostly because I create 50% of my “look” inside of Apple Color.  So I decided to wait it out and keep using Final Cut Pro 7 until all of the may lay had been figured out and resolved. Although support for FCP7 would soon come to a halt, I would take my chances and keep editing on it until the day where I was forced to make the change.

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Enter the Canon 5D Mark III.

Up until about a month ago I had shot all of my film projects on the Canon T2i, a camera that I have been very pleased with. I would always watch videos comparing the T2i and 5D Mark II and showing nearly similar results for video, under the right lighting conditions of course. A client of mine wanted his new video shot on the Canon 5D so I decided to rent one and try it out to see exactly how comparable the two were. Although I had shot on the 5D Mark II before and couldn’t really notice any remarkable difference in quality compared to the T2i, I must say that with the Mark III I was blown away. The full frame, easy controls and video settings (minus Magic Lantern) and the picture quality spoiled me to the point where I no longer wanted to even look at my T2i. This was the upgrade I needed….little did I know of the hell that was about to unfold…..

After shooting the video with the Mark III, and completely wowing my client, I got home and tried to import the footage into Final Cut Pro 7 via the E1 plug in within Log & Transfer. I got an error message about the file structure which is typical if the .thm files are missing…mine were not. After some online research I found this to be a common problem, and was reassured that my problems would be solved by downloading Canon’s new E1 plug in V1.4 for the Mark III, and would hence be able to use L&T to upload. Again…no luck. Same error message. Is this for real? I tried to not let the frustration get to me…it was enough that I had only five days to edit this video and had not even figured out how to transcode the footage yet….little did I know so would begin my spiraling into transcoding hell.

I tried using Compressor to transcode the footage. It crashed. I tried using Quicktime 7. It crashed. I did some more research online and came across a promising software that would convert the footage from H.261 to Apple ProRes 422 for me called 5DtoRGB. They had two versions on the Apple App store, the lite version that would transcode one file at a time (really?) and a batch version for $50 that would process multiple files at once. I bought the batch version and gave it a go. Out of the first four efforts, it got stuck four times, forcing me to do a hard shutdown of my computer because my external HD would no longer respond. I emailed Apple and they have since refunded my $50 back, although I am still without a transcoding solution. Should it really be this hard?

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Enter Final Cut Pro X.

After months of ignoring FCPX, I finally came to the conclusion that I would have to learn and use the new version of Final Cut Pro after reading online that FCPX could transcode my media from the Mark III natively. If I had to use the new software then so be it. The time clock for editing this video was steadily ticking away so I re-activated my Lynda account and commenced to watching the Essential Training videos for Final Cut Pro X. After about 4-5 hours or so I was finally ready. I begin trying to import my Mark III files and all looks good. Then out of nowhere I get an error message…..NO!!!!!!!!!!!

“The following clip encountered an error during import and is still referencing media on the camera”

What????? Are you kidding me??? Import failed. I tried and tried again…no luck. I finally discover that although this message pops up, the media is still importing so I get a little hopeful. All I have to do is stay in front of my system for four hours and hit the ok button every time the import failed window pops up to resume the “failed” import. When it was finished I checked the events folder under transcoded media and all of my files “appeared” to be transcoded.

I attempted to start my edit within FCPX right away but noticed a strange lag in the software…not the usual lag that is forgivable due to CPU constraints, but a lag of about 3-4 seconds for every single move and click of the mouse! Final Cut Pro X was unusable! I tried rebooting…same thing. I’m now about ready to quit when I get a bright idea….I’ll import the files from the transcoded media files into Final Cut Pro 7 and edit like I normally do…and it worked!!!!

The video was completed, with a couple nights of no sleep, and all was well. My workflow had been fixed. Or so I thought.

When looking at my transcoded media files again I noticed something very strange….NOT ALL OF MY FILES HAD BEEN TRANSCODED!!!! On top of this, FCPX was making copies of the original media even though I unchecked the box that says to do so. WHAT GIVES????? I now had unneeded duplicate copies of my files and missing transcoded files.

In moving to a new video project, I tried using FCPX again to transcode…same error messages, same duplicating of original media, same missing transcoded files. Is this a joke? Apple? Canon? I am now without a solid means of transcoding my media other than doing it file by file in 5DtoRGB lite. To add insult to injury, my E1 plug in inside FCP7 no longer works correctly, I’m assuming due to the V1.4 upgrade (LOL!!!!) so my Log & Transfer is now totally useless in FCP7.

I have always been a happy Final Cut Pro user, and while everyone started to jump ship to Adobe,  I decided to stay on the sinking ship. Now the hypothermia is starting to take effect and I have no life raft to grasp onto to save my sinking editing workflow and therefore productivity.

Somebody throw me a line here……I’m desperate. I don’t think an editor should have to go through all of these hoops and hurdles just to import footage into an editing system. Maybe I’m wrong….maybe Adobe has this all figured out. I’ll go see….

Thanks Apple. Thanks a lot.


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Chuuwee “Fresh to Death” Interview (on 9th Wonder, Mistah FAB, #TUS, Wild Style)

Sacramento emcee Chuuwee drops by 90.5 KSJS for an exclusive interview with Naughty Seatty before a performance at Agenda Nightclub in San Jose, CA. In the interview Chuuwee discusses the creative process behind Crown Me King, Wild Style, and being co-signed by the likes of 9th Wonder, Alchemist, and Mistah FAB. Chuuwee also discusses his writing process and touches on his The Usual Suspects crew.

Show footage taken at Agenda Nightclub in San Jose, CA.

thisisopenuniversity.com


Chuuwee – Beastie Boy! (Official Video)

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Set in Chinatown, San Francisco, the black and white color scheme helps to set the tone and look for Chuuwee’s “Beastie Boy!” video, my favorite track from the Wild Style Album. Going along with the 90’s hip hop theme Chuuwee and I discussed, we decided to give this one a cinematic but retro feel. The city of San Francisco gives the video that gritty downtown ” little Manhattan” look which is sort of atypical for west coast music videos. To play off of a theme in one of Chuuwee’s other videos, we decided to have him being monitored by a field agent of some sort, either FBI or CIA, although we never really know for sure (maybe foreign intelligence posing as FBI?). One thing that is for sure is that Chuuwee’s charisma on camera helps to convincingly pull this off, perfectly playing the role of the “usual suspect.” The beautiful Melissa Bettencourt playing the role of the sexy field agent also provides some visual appeal, making the story come to life.

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Video

The Gatlin – Victorian Muzik

Watch. Enjoy


Paid Dues 2012

Paid Dues. The name is kind of ironic because that’s exactly how I feel we have done since we started all of this about this time last year. In the start of 2011, I was a rapper moonlighting as a part-time video director with one no-budget music video under my belt trying to find a loop hole within this entertainment industry. Now here we are, a dedicated staff, 24 PR/Interview pieces, and 10 music videos later, with more footage and videos to edit than we can actually handle. Life is great when you work hard.

Open University x Alchemist x Oh No x Evidence

Anyway, Paid Dues was nuts this year, I just wish we had time to watch the actual performances although politic’ing backstage was kind of rewarding in its own right. Saw the homie Fashawn. Got interviews with Tiron & Ayomari, RA the Rugged Man, Chase Infinite, Alchemist & Oh No (Gangrene), Brother Ali, and Souls of Mischief that should be posted soon. Paid Dues was a very refreshing event and everyone there was on some real positive energy…shot out to the homie Sahtyre and the whole Swim Team. Finally get to see Tyler the Creator act a fool. Kendrick’s show was insane.

Interviews coming soon….

Open University.


Thurz Day

Thurz is one L.A emcee that we have been trying to connect with for a while now and we finally got a chance to this weekend while in L.A for Paid Dues. I originally wanted to shoot the video for “The Killers” but due to time restraints, and us wanting to shoot something new and fresh, we decided to shoot two other videos for some soon-to-be-released material from Thurz that is super dope. Can’t give you everything right now but let’s just say that Thurz will be dropping some real dope content before summer. This guy has a sharp director’s eye and a natural charisma in front of the camera so look out for these visuals. On set Thurz also played me a few new joints he’s working on….dope dope dope.

The west coast is on fire right now…

might be a good time to move to L.A.

Stay tuned….


Lady in Red. [By Amadeuz Christ]

“Honesty is a blunt instrument that often bloodies more than it cuts.”

– Robert Green

This is about control.

Isn’t it?

The control that you are not willing to give up simply because you cannot…not be in control. If this matrix was designed to keep us blinded by the monotony of it all, then we are truly the architects of our own imprisonment.  We have created a system in which we are all harmoniously synchronized, swimming in an endless sea of repetition we are unable to unplug from. Our very existence is dependant on it.

But you…

Lady in red.

You have broken this.

They tell me that you are a distraction. They tell me that you are just a program placed here to break my focus, a temptation for me to lust after. They tell me that you aren’t real. But I like to imagine that you were created just for me, that you are the Eve of this Eden in a time before our eyes had been opened and our ignorance no longer blissful.  It is the looks you give me when you walk by me, in those split seconds of vulnerability what you reveal that keeps me up at night wondering…why you never speak?

But maybe I’m imagining this all in my head.

…and you are just a figment of my imagination.

But in those split seconds of vulnerability, where you are no longer in control, I can see what you want me to…and I wonder. I wonder if for you is it equally as hard to keep up the charade of these two personalities, sometimes unable to tell which is which, as is it for me? Is it as difficult to hide your…real self? I wonder why on the outside you appear to be so calculated, but on the inside there is a part of you that wants to loose…control. I wonder if this is what you are trying to tell me…

But maybe I’m imagining this all in my head.

…and none of this is real.

Maybe you are just a program. But in those split seconds, I can see you. I can see the fortress that you have created in your defense, the chambers of which very few have entered into much less been given the key to. I know of the treasure you are hiding, the secret you are keeping locked away for the one who has the ability to unlock it. I know of your passion, your wants…I know who you are…and I wonder…do you know who I am?

Or am I just imagining this all in my head?

Maybe I’m wrong…and you are just a program.

Maybe you are just a figment of my imagination, designed to distract me…to break my focus. But I like to imagine that I was created for you…placed here into this matrix only to satisfy your every desire. I like to imagine that my touch was specifically designed to suit your body, my hands crafted to soothe your soul from any ills of this world. I imagine that your heart beats to the same frequency as does mine, but…

I think that I am just imagining this all in my head.

And you will never speak because the stakes are too high for either of us to be playing this game…

A game where neither one of us can afford to give up…control.

Because that is what this is about…

Isn’t it?

Lady in red.


Oxytocin [by Amadeuz Christ]

The other day I was reading something online…and it was describing a chemical that a woman releases only three times in her lifetime, during childbirth, during breast-feeding, and during sex. This chemical is called Oxytocin and its purpose is to act as an unbreakable emotional bond, eternally bonding the woman to her partner…forever.

…and I began to think about you.

Not that I have ever stopped thinking about you, but upon reading this my heart began to feel very heavy, and the unbearable weight of guilt and regret became almost too much to carry.

Someone once told me a story me a story about a man who died and went before God for his life review. In this review he saw his life from the perspective of the other people, the people who he had hurt, and for the first time he became aware of his own actions. When he was brought back to life, he said, his perspective on life had forever been altered.

…and I began to think about you.

I began to think about how you would view me, from your eyes, in the event that I had been given a life review, and I began to feel ashamed. Ashamed that I could have hurt you, that I could have broken your spirit, ruined your heart and hindered your ability to trust it again. I took from you and although it was in good intention, I left you with nothing in return but broken promises of what could have been, had I been mature enough at the time to appreciate you.

I think about whether or not you still think of me…and if you do, how you must be plagued by the inception of that memory, still pained by what I made you to believe to be your failure. I was blind to your fragility and thought because I knew that no one could touch you like I could, that my expressing my love in physical form would suffice. I was wrong.

I thought because of who I was, because of what you saw in me, that you would look past my faults and simply “deal” with me. I was wrong. I was a hand that you should have not been dealt,  and this haunts me every second of every day that passes. I realize now how easy it is for us men to take, and to make excuses for never giving…but this is not the mentality of a man…it is that of a boy.

I am working on my faults, my anger, my thoughtlessness…I am working to become a better person so that, if we ever meet again, I can show you how much I have changed…

…so I can say to you….look at what you did.

You have made me into a man.

Thank you and…

I’m sorry.

– Amadeuz


[New Video] Luzion – Swag [Directed by Amadeuz Christ]

Luzion – Swag

Dollar Sign Records © 2012

Directed and edited by Amadeuz Christ


[New Video] Rapper Big Pooh “Fresh to Death” (On Dirty Pretty Things, Nas, Kendrick Lamar, EP w/Nottz)[2011]

Unsa Suhail and Arman (StrongArm) Mahmoudi interview Rapper Big Pooh for an Open University exclusive presentation of “Fresh to Death” on 90.5 KSJS. In this interview, after opening up for Slum Village, Rapper Big Pooh discusses his solo career, Dirty Pretty Things, a new EP with Nottz, and Little Brother. Big Pooh also speaks on newcomers Kendrick Lamar, Big K.R.I.T. and J. Cole, rumors of a Little Brother reunion, and even forgetting his line on stage.

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